Self Care

What does self-care look like to you?

For me what it used to be and what it is now are two completely different ends of the spectrum! 

I've gone from a full day alone soaking up a spa day, afternoon tea and couple of glasses of wine a couple of years ago, to sneaking in a little stroll when life allows. 

It's a conversation I've had with Michael very recently actually, to try and free up some more time just for *me* ... one of the factors I did know would come into play when deciding to home school Alfie was the change of going from him being at school 6 hours a day to being with me 24/7. I know and understand that for some people to be with their children upon waking, all day, all evening, every meal time, every break time, every night, is an absolute dream and I don't for a second discount that. However, for me personally, in my own life with my own journey and my own struggles, I can find this to be too much. 

It's a LOT especially when you've adjusted over the years to school hours, school holidays etc. 

What I didn't realise in listing the pros and cons of home schooling and changing the situation Alfie was in at the time, is how incredibly draining it would be to have literally no time at all for myself to exist just as "Sarah" 

If I'm not at work, I'm schooling. I'm schooling AT work. Every day off work now where I used to have a few hours during the day to do something for myself I now have to entertain Alfie too. For those who have been around here a while you know the lengths we went to, to get our little miracle, and I appreciate the time we have together so much but I'm also only human and know in order to be the best version of myself I can be I need to give myself the chance to recharge, relax, and recuperate. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and all that. 

Going Forward

It's so easy to lose who you are in sight of trying to be everything for everyone else. I'm boss lady, mum, wife, business owner, social media presence, yes... but I'm also just Sarah. There are parts of me I want and deserve to nurture that are just for myself. That doesn't make me selfish, it's just me recognising my limits and boundaries, and choosing to respect them instead of doing what I used to and ignoring all of it to please others. It doesn't end well, believe me - me and my breakdown are evidence of this. 

After a chat with Michael, we've decided that one evening a week when he gets in from work, I'm going to escape and have time to myself ... even if it's just for an hour. 

That alone time will vary from week to week. Some days I'll drive my car to the beach and sit and scroll, or read a book, with a coffee or tea in hand and maybe a sneaky choccy slice from our own selection. Some days it might be sitting in silence and just enjoying the peace in the breeze and listening to the waves crashing on the shore. Other days I plan to visit restaurants I used to love and sit and enjoy a meal on my own - something I used to really enjoy before everything got too busy. Maybe a swim at our local sports centre? Who knows. I'm looking forward to seeing what mini adventures I can enjoy in my own company. 

What I choose to avoid ...

... is the idea that I might use the time to catch up on washing or for having a bath in peace. 

Though it's nice to get those things done without being pestered by a little one or someone needing something from me, taking care of house work or basic hygiene needs do not count as self care in my eyes and is something that should be a given. Self care is something that you do just for you - a treat or a moment that's selfish to yourself and don't have to share or do to benefit or please anyone but you. 

What do you do for your self care? I would love to get some ideas or to learn what people view as self care in your own lives?